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Parents of eligible adults are hardly restrained in voicing their anxieties about their children remaining single into their late twenties, thirties, and beyond. As to the single adults themselves, many may be putting up a nonchalant front, but nevertheless appear to be concerned. Some are not. A genuine acceptance of the single life, as a matter of choice, is also on the rise in the mainstream.

And this tends to sit at odds with the social and cultural norms of the Indian community, where marriage is an ingrained institution. Not surprisingly, an environment of tension is often the backdrop in many families where old-world expectations are clashing with contemporary outlooks. Purvi Patel, 29, from Lawrenceville, Georgia, exemplifies these dynamics when she talks about how dejected she was as she left yet another matrimonial convention in With most of her friends married, and familial and social pressures mounting, Patel had started to feel the void of the companion she was so keenly looking for.

If it were just the seemingly gravitational push of marriage upon the new generations of Indian Americans, that would be a story by itself. This is evident in painstaking detail in the book Marrying Anita, where author Anita Jain narrates her exhaustive and maddeningly frustrating quest to find her soul mate, which eventually leads her to New Delhi. The diverse, global, and multiethnic Indian diaspora makes for a complex web of idiosyncrasies, hang-ups, peeves, preferences, dreams, and passions of an increasingly multifaceted group of contemporary young peers.

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They wanted her to end up with someone who was Indian — Punjabi, to be exact. He also needed to speak the native language and, of course, be an all-around good guy with a steady job. But Randhawa knew that kind of guy would be difficult to find in the Bay Area, where she hardly knew any other Indians.

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